Reviewed Movies out on DVD this Past Week:

Role Models.

4 out of 5 fo'ties. I saw it twice in theaters and am considering purchasing the now available DVD. Read my review here.

Watchmen

Rating:
4 out of 5 fo'ties


Who will enjoy it:
Mature audiences and comic book nerd-oids alike. A super hero movie truly for adults (and lovers of nudity!). Fans of the original graphic novel should be extremely satisfied.

'Tis the question on every geek's lips: Who Watches the Watchmen?

Revolutionary Road

Rating:
5 out of 5 fo'ties!


Who will enjoy it:
Those dying to see Kate and Leo reunite may or may not be disappointed. We're all a bit older now (and some of us more jaded) - if this is the case, after seeing this movie you'll burn all of your Titanic CDs and posters in order to make room for all of the new Revolutionary Road memorabilia you're about to purchase. If you're still stuck on the sweet, epic serenade of young love, you may need to return your opening night ticket - this is no Titanic sequel. Movie critics will heart this cinematic venture; but if you're looking for something upbeat: stay home.

Synopsis: based on the best-selling novel (Richard Yates) from 1961, Revolutionary Road is named after the street on which the young and beautiful Wheelers live. In a big house, on a well-manicured road, with two children and a good job, the Wheelers are the American dream realized. But is it possible that the way we've molded society isn't the right way for a human to live? If you find yourself trapped in the machine of civilization, how do you escape it once the wheels have been put into motion? The tensions caused by the feelings of suffocation and disappointment concerning the path their lives have taken is breaking April (Winslet) and Frank's (DiCaprio) relationship apart. Now let the drama unfold.

Sam Mendes of American Beauty fame directs, and the result is a gorgeous, slow-flowing symphony. The 1950s truly come alive in the most authentic of ways for the 119 minute running time. The whole world surrounding Frank and April is numbly asleep and complacent in the suburbias and meaningless corporate jobs they find themselves in. The Wheelers, however, are different, special - at least they imagine themselves to be. The most powerful aspect of this movie is its reminder of the glorious, seemingly immortal ego of youth.

The philosophy of the film: all of us, in some time or another during our growth, experience a personal calling into some form of greatness. We feel unique enough and well enough equipped to conquer some foreign thing, make some severe impact - make a name for ourselves. Each of us holds a remarkable destiny, waiting to be unhatched. It's the sublime spark that tells us that we are different, special, and capable of any possibility we might chase after. It is a magical feeling of unquestionable importance which makes us feel as a superhero must, and it is a feeling which inevitably dies in almost every single adult. There comes a point when cynicism, or routine, or any other means of execution to our self esteems by incremements occurs. And then that glory we feel evaporates, and we are, to our dismay, like in accomplishment and form to everyone else. How did our marvelous fates escape us? They seemed so close at hand.

The answer to this question is what April seeks the entire film. She drowns in the mediocrity of taking the trash out, cooking dinner, and visiting the neighbors across the street. The promise of excitement and of "life", she emphasizes, seems right outside her door... outside the town... outside the country, to Paris. The sudden and dramatic change, she convinces herself, will provide the fuel she and Frank need to become what they were truly meant to be originally - great individuals who rise above the redundancy of the world. "I saw a whole other future. I can't stop seeing it." Frank agrees to the proposal at first, but uprooting is a difficult thing to swallow, and his mindset appears to switch back and forth between the typical, safety-yearning suburbanite and a whimsical and self-important artist. As Mendes himself stated: the two characters seem caught in opposite currents, and though they are ever trying to reach for one another, they steadily drift further and further apart.

On technical aspect, the cinematography is breath-taking, as would be expected from Mendes. The set work is beautiful and full of note-worthy details. By far, however, the most splendid of accomplishments would be the acting displayed by Mr. DiCaprio and Mrs. Winslet. A two hour movie dedicated mostly to scenes of two married persons arguing and being emotional has the potential to put its audience to sleep, but the result in Revolutionary Road is far from nap-inducing. On the contrary, if you don't desire to go out and do all of those things you said you'd do "some day", then this reviewer would be surprised. The two actors portray themselves as anyone you might know... or anyone you might be. If Kate Winslet's beautiful breakdown doesn't get you in the gut with lines like,
"For years I thought we've shared this secret that we would be wonderful in the world. I don't know exactly how, but just the possibility kept me hoping. How pathetic is that? So stupid. To put all of your hopes in a promise that was never made... he's right. We were never special or destined for anything at all."
Then you're a lucky human being, and you've either caught your glory by the reins and steered yourself down to a fulfilling path of greatness, or you're living in the happy bliss of unawareness and complacency.

Kate Winslet's April character is the perfect antithesis to what society forces on its occupants, especially those who bear children. Is it true that we have to live this certain way, the way everyone else does?... or is it all a long-running joke? "Who made these rules anyway?" Her mental and emotional deterioration is a wonderful symbol of what leading the "wrong" life can do to a person. Perhaps America has not yet found the healthiest and most intellectually stimulating and satisfying manner of living, but no one else seems to notice or mind. April and Frank display the effects that this can have on a person's psyche, especially in the routine-fueled and unfantastic 1950s. To add to the impact of the film, Frank and April sincerely appear to harbor feelings of "true love" for one another. Leonardo and Kate's on-screen romantic chemistry has only heightened and matured since their last rendezvous on a doomed ship in the 1990s...

Have several truly stiff drinks prepared and on hand for after the show. This story, for many, will hit home right between the lungs and stay there. It is a story of regret and fear, disappointment and painful restlessness; and most of all, heartache. This film displays human emotion and nature with such incredible insight and authenticity that it could be a living thing itself. This is a movie full of truths, and they're the kind that stick to your ribs for days and days.

Verdict: If any of this sounds familiar, or you're just looking for a superbly acted film, do yourself a favor and see this one. Just be prepared for the potential emotional consequences. Then again, maybe you'll be inspired to give yourself an exciting second chance at life. Good luck.

But don't take my word for it: professional critique here.

The Wrestler

Rating:5 out of 5 fo'ties!


Who will enjoy it:
Filmgoers looking for a movie which goes for the emotional jugular, and squeezes it until you cry like a newborn babe. But no sap here - The Wrestler is so effective in its heart string-tugging agenda because it is brutally raw and realistic, not cheesy. Film snobs, rejoice! The name and subject matter may throw you off, but if you turn your nose up at this film you should be kicking yourself in the wazoo. Mickey Rourke is this year's best actor, and possibly the year before that, and the year before that, and the year.... This is a movie that doesn't let the watcher off so easy. Grab a tissue and prepare to have Randy the Ram put your tender heart into a choker-hold.

HBO: True Blood

You might not yet be watching, but damn well should be watching:

Out-in-the-open vampires living among us down in the bayou? A vampire rights movement which parallels the civil rights movement? Sex with dead things? Drugs? Prejudice? More sex? Blood? Great Cajun-inspired music? Even more hardcore sex? And even more blood?

I finally got down to watching HBO's True Blood On Demand today. The first season has ended - the second on its way; and I have found my new obsession.

Everything you love/hate about the South just got bloodier, filthier, funnier, and more colorful. The message and story are great; it speaks concerning our fears of the unknown, and the prejudices that sprout from those fears. If it's not racism, it's sexism; if it's not ethnicity, it's religion; if it's not class or sexual orientation or culture, it's vampire vs. human. We always find a group at which to aim our hatreds; is it an inevitable human trait?

Also, learn neat vampire-related slang terms like "glamour", "fangbanger" and "blood sacks". The uber-clever details flow like lava out an active volcano. Reviewers say it's "playfully grisly", "graphically sexy and scary", and "a broadly entertaining, deliciously twisted slice of modern Southern Gothic."

I won't got into too many details about the show - there are plenty of sites that have already done that - but I will tell you that you must watch it. At least a few episodes; I promise: it will sink its teeth into you.

The title credits are beautiful and capture the tone of the series impeccably. Here are some screen shots, as well as a link to the actual vid:

Brilliant opening credits sequence.

If you appreciate the filth: a good, stiff drink; unconventional love-makin'; dirty language; dark humor; the swamp; blood and mud; murder-mysteries; Sci-Fi; and New O'lins' backdrop... you just might love True Blood. I know I do.

So let's not allow this program to choke and die like my last favorite under-appreciated show, Arrested Development. Unlike AD, maybe True Blood will prove itself to be as immortal as its lead characters. We'll see.

Four Christmases

New Line Cinema's weak attempt to convince me that, were he not famous, Vince Vaughn could still pull ladies that look like Reese Witherspoon.

Rating:
2.5 out of 5 fo'ties


Who will enjoy it:
About 50% of the average American audience

I'm not really sure where to look for the "Christmas" in "Four Christmases". Though there was one joke with the word "mistletoe", and Xmas trees in every home displayed in the film, I suppose that it doesn't really matter. That's not the point of this holiday movie - the point is love... True love, to be exact.

Out of all the emotions Christmases aims to muster in its viewers, I could feel only one thing: shock. Continuously regenerated shock... at the remarkable height difference between the two lead actors.

That's gotta be like a foot and a half. She's standing on four gift boxes, and is wearing at least 5 inch heels just to look him in the face. Amazing. What an awkward sexual situation. He looks like Frankenstein and she looks like a Keebler elf. How does they make babies?

A distracting detail for me; and I hope, many others equally as shallow and uninteresting.

Real plot: Vince and Reese are a happy couple living in the big city. They both share a non-traditional view on family and marriage, and jump at any and all fabricated opportunities in order to escape visiting with their own divorced parents at Christmas. One bad airport trip, and suddenly they find themselves obligated to do just that. Going home for the holidays times four.

Here's the trailer.

Vince Vaughn plays it safe and gives us another movie filled with his trademark rambling witticisms. It's Wedding Crashers; only this time the part of the tiny blond will be portrayed by Reese Witherspoon instead of Owen Wilson. Reese does make a bit of a change, however, by impersonating a black-garbed, somewhat uptight and serious urbanista, as opposed to her more commonly seen sweet n' silly Southern belle character. She might be the only truly likable person in the movie, and somehow manages to seem slightly multifaceted and sincere in a sea of otherwise superficial personalities. Even with the famous faces inserted into the film (Sissy Spacek, Jon Voight, Tim McGraw, etc.) the acting levels out at only sub-par. With four separate Christmases to attend, the celebrity cameos are whittled down to about five minutes each: not enough screen time to make any memorable impact.

Two big brownie points go to the movie, though, for scenes which were handled somewhat uniquely, if only in this viewer's humble opinion. The first being the opening scene: All is not what it seems in a chic, San Franciscan nightclub where a lone Witherspoon is approached by a bumbling Vince. What starts out as a typical "boy meets girl, boy compliments girl, boy somehow snags girl" storyline quickly turns around into an implied R-rated romp, and a plug for somewhat unconventional relationship relations (Don't want to spoil the opening with too many details). As stereotypical as it may get later on, the film does make attempts to show that not all love stories have to steer the same stale route in order to be successful and satisfying; though it does ultimately end on quite the traditional romantic note. Still, it's good while it lasts... and those who don't dream about the typical suburban-American fairytale get to enjoy a few amusingly well-put arguments as to why marriage, babies, and sex limited to the bedroom aren't the only way to live and love in the U.S.

The second scene comes much later. Finally, finally, finally someone gets the guts to mock, however briefly, the ridiculous churches with the dancing neon spotlights, the rock star-esque preachers, the humongous T.V. screens, and a fan base that rivals Backstreet Boys' back in their glory days... way back before they turned 57. Frankie and Keebs sit in speechless confusion as the revivalist circus commences around them, probably uncertain as to whether they're sitting through mass or a live recording of American Idol. I've found myself in such a situation, found it to be appalling; and have since wondered why the topic is not more frequently discussed and/or spoofed. Well - finally - there it is. Thank you, New Line.

Although I found some scenes uncomfortable due to their obvious expectation of laughter, and their actual receipt of silence, Four Christmases is a comedy/romance which could certainly be called "enjoyable", if nothing else. You'll get a decent-sized laugh at least thrice, and though it probably won't be enough to warm your heart, it might at least warm up your little toesies... so long as you don't forget to wear socks.


Verdict: You can skip this one; but if you're looking for a holiday themed movie it might be one of your only options. So, if that be the case: go right on ahead, Christmas-head.

But don't take my word for it: Professional review here.

Role Models

Rating:

4 out of 5 Fo'ties.

Who will enjoy it:
Everyone (except those who dislike gratuitious filthy language,
but those fucking people don't fucking matter anyway. Penis.).
Fratties and intellectuals alike can appreciate.

Paying money to watch shitty comedies is not an experience I typically subject myself to at the movie theatre. A flimsy and unfulfilling hour and a half, chop full of three cheap laughs does not a well-spent hard earned $10 make (see: Zack and Miri Make a Porno); but I recently took a chance, and, luckily, it was on Role Models. Mostly, maybe, because the movie features two male actors which I find physically attractive - I'll put my ogling aside, and leave it at that - but also because the trailer made me laugh more in 3 minutes than the whole 101 min of the aforementioned Kevin Smith flick (a mushy, gushy romance with scenes of hardcore porn spliced in - Titanic with tits). The movie (Role Models, that is) is predictable, but despite its predictability, still manages to be satisfying in every aspect.

Watch the trailer; but here's a quick synopsis: two co-workers - one who loves his Red Bull rip-off promoting lifestyle, and one who hates it - break the law (in a very funny battle with a tow-truck driver) and end up having to put in community service time at a youth outreach program (think Big Brother/Big Sister). Neither of them is happy about it. Cue rest of film.

Sean William Scott does his typical frat guy impersonation - lots of sex with random "hotties", a lot of the word 'fuck', and because of it, much foul-mouthed, machismo hilarity ensues. Throw into the mix a little kid who also loves "boobies", cursing, and physically abusing his elders (oh, and argues that every white person is Ben Affleck - especially Paul Rudd. "Wha'ssup, Reindeer Games?") - and you've got a twosome the likes of which haven't been seen since Kindergarten Cop.

Next Paul Rudd, who takes the Paul Rudd route. I was the only pretentious asshole in the theatre to laugh during a Fellini reference, and I peed myself a little when he went off on a Starbucks barista concerning the "tall, grande, venti" language. "Congratulations - you're an idiot in three languages." He's witty, quick, and hates everyone/everything that a bitter depresso should hate - including himself - and you have to love and respect him for it. Now pair him with a Dungeons and Dragons uber-geek who lives solely for live-action role playing (think those kids sporting medieval attire and swords that duel every Sunday in the park) and awesomeness abounds.

As one critic points out, that might just be what makes this movie work so well. The unexpected fusion of two very different schools of comedy that somehow work brilliantly together to deliver every type of quip you might want spouted out at you from a movie screen. Why hasn't anybody attempted this sooner?.. Mindless, irrelevant, dirty and offensive jokes your thing? Grouchy, intellectual puns and asshole observational humor more your style? Well, now you can laugh at both, and feel less guilty about the other in the process. The two previously feuding genres inter-mix perfectly here; not only calling a mere truce, but stepping forward hand-in-hand to display a sweet lesson of friendship that runs deeper than outward differences.
And also, plenty of the word "fuck" - and everyone likes fuck.

And even though you already know what's coming, the ending is the ultimate cherry on top of the pie on top of the whipped cream on top of the chocolate syrup which makes the whole wonderful, giggling mess worth it; and can even have the power to thoroughly brighten up your day.

That's the last thirty minutes of Role Models. A hilarious, and (dare I say it?) touching movie about lost, lonely kids; lost, lonely adults; and the power of imaginary sword-wielding with the best kind of friends - ones that will stand beside you in the Kiss Army in order to defend Middle Earth... to the death.

Verdict: If you haven't already, go see it NOW before it's out of theatres.


But don't take my word for it: Professional critique here.